…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.2 Corinthians 10:5
When I think back to when I first started hearing voices, due to my psychosis, I remember believing everything they said to me. They told me I was worthless, that I was ugly, that I was stupid, that I was alone, that I should just go ahead and kill myself. They started out echoing my deepest fears and my thoughts about myself and life. They then became demanding, telling me to do dangerous un-Godly things like drive off overpasses and bridges and to cut myself because I deserved it. They kept a commentary on what I said or did throughout the day and promptly let me know how wrong I was about everything. They became who I thought I was…an utter and complete mistake destined for failure.
But as I grew closer to God and read His Word I learned about how much I was loved, (Not just loved, but so loved –John 3:16). I learned I was made in His image and that he wanted a personal relationship with me. After realizing this completely, my view of myself changed. As the attitude change started to happen and as I gained greater and greater trust in Jesus and His plans for me, I began to discern between what the voices thought of me and what God knew of me. I was able to take each statement the enemy threw at me through the voices and my thoughts and counter it with something I knew to be true, something God told me in His Word. His love, guidance, counsel, and ultimate truth broke through. I finally knew my true worth ’in Christ’.
He did not make the voices go away but he used them to show me the exact opposite of what to believe in. They were liars. They were from the enemy seeking to kill and destroy any hope I had in life. The voices became background noise as The Lord’s voice spoke to me loud and clear. I no longer was afraid.
The voices have turned out to be very counterintuitive and what they say about me and my choices in life. They actually help me avoid traps of the enemy as a result. I find it easier to stay on the straight and narrow path. What Satan tried to use to confuse me just made the righteous choices clearer and my desire to please God was more definitive than if I had never suffered at all. The Lord works in amazing ways. His plans aren’t always clear at first but with perseverance, I have noticed they are always for good.