You’re never going to keep me down!

for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.

Proverbs 24:16

It seems to me that I’ve been knocked down in life so many times…but looking back I see that each and every time I got right back up and continued forward. Sometimes it is just a dream deferred; an illness prolonged; an education that never seems to end or a goal that took twists and turns out of what I expected.

But through all of my knockdowns, God has been with me…He has put people in my life or opportunities in my path that have pulled me up and set me on solid ground again. I see them as learning experiences. Times mentally to strengthen myself. It is never my own strength; but He who is in me.

I have been faithful to God my whole life. Sure I’ve sinned and fallen short of His Glory but each and every incident has been repented of and forgiven. My last one was a time of terror. I ended up overdosing on over 100 pills that I had in my possession. I started to look at my circumstances instead of looking to God. I felt I had failed too many times. I couldn’t see my future being anything that was worth it. But it was not my future that mattered here. It was the future that God had in plan for me. I was misaligned from His will for my life.

I got help. I was hospitalized AGAIN…but the key is “I. GOT. HELP.” And when I turned my eyes back upon my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ I realized nothing I can do on my own is worth anything. It is all God. He had given me a cross not a ladder. His love was dying for me and reaching out to me. I had only to reach back. And when I did I was lifted up.

I came back home. Re-enrolled in college for the umpteenth time. Got my finances in order. Went right back to my church and prayed like I have never prayed before. And God has reset my vision. He has given me new Hope; a new chance; and a new goal.

I may get knocked down in life but I will always get back up. I owe that to the One who rose from the dead…for me. My scars are just a reminder of where I’ve been and what I’ve learned, not of what I have failed at. And His scars are a reminder of His eternal love and understanding. And that is more precious to me than any human pursuit I may have had. And I always will remember, “..the Lord is within her and she will not fall,” (Psalm 46:5).

Published by: jeni

I am a person who loves Jesus Christ more than anything. I also suffer with Schizoaffective disorder. These two things run tandem in my life and I could not deal with the latter without the former. My complete trust in God will help me through anything. I believe this 100%. Trials come and go but the Lord is omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. What more could I ask for? I am blessed by my redeemer. Through thick and thin I know in my soul that God’s got this.

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